This one time my friend freaked out because she forgot that she left a whole heap of washing powder in a zip lock bag in her luggage while she was travelling. “What if they think it’s cocaine?!” she fretted. I assured her that she was just being wildly anxious and that even if they did think it was cocaine, a simple test would prove otherwise. Admittedly, I even mocked her for her outlandish worries.

I wish I could have said the same for New York man Alexander J. Bernstein, who was travelling to Florida with homemade soap in his boot. Bernstein was in the passenger seat when the driver, Annadel Cruz, was pulled over for allegedly driving a little too fast and travelling on the traffic line for half a mile. The cops said they could smell marijuana, and proceeded to search the car at which time they found two brick-sized packages in the boot… wrapped in plastic and red tape. Pretty sus. The field test showed that the substance was cocaine though.

Bernstein spent a month in jail before the field test was proven inaccurate and now he’s pretty pissed off. Obviously. He had to pay thousands in legal fees and court costs and missed Thanksgiving with his 17-month-old son, and now is seeking  damages in excess of $150,000. The police refuse to admit they were wrong and won’t even apologise to Bernstein, which I think renders them as empathetic and mature as small children or maybe a cat.